


scared of almost nothing at all

by lotts (LottieAnna)



Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, M/M, Mpreg, Multi, Polyamory Negotiations, Pregnant Sex, Surrogacy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-30
Updated: 2019-06-30
Packaged: 2020-05-16 17:38:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,482
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19322935
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LottieAnna/pseuds/lotts
Summary: EJ wants a baby, is how the whole thing starts.





	scared of almost nothing at all

**Author's Note:**

  * For [somehowunbroken](https://archiveofourown.org/users/somehowunbroken/gifts).



> IF YOU FOUND THIS THROUGH GOOGLING, KNOW ANYONE MENTIONED IN THIS STORY PERSONALLY, OR ARE MENTIONED YOURSELF: please, please click away. This is a work of fiction and nothing written in this story is true. Any accurate information used in this story is publicly available information about public figures, the rest is made up, 100%.
> 
> thanks to m for cheerleading the HECK out of this and being the most incredible beta! title from "warm blood" by carly rae jepsen. thanks to the mods for being super accommodating/responsive/helpful, and for running such a great exchange as always!
> 
> somehowunbroken-- i really really really really really really hope you like this!!!!!!

 

EJ wants a baby, is how the whole thing starts. 

Specifically, EJ and G actually break up over the fact that EJ wants a baby, which sounds a lot sadder than it is— they’re probably going to be friends eventually, but EJ is old enough to want things that G hasn’t really considered yet, and so they’re taking some time apart to figure out whether they really do want the same things, or they’re just too afraid to break up. 

It’s… disgustingly responsible, honestly. Alexander knows that he’s mature—at least, relative to his roommates, he’s mature—but still, that kind of genuinely adult thought process is downright scary to him. Choosing to put off being loved in the hopes that you’ll find your way back to each other, all over a person that doesn’t even exist yet? Alexander can’t even begin to imagine doing that. 

But different people are different, so even though Alexander can’t really understand it, he still thinks it’s the best outcome. At the very least, Alexander thinks this all but confirms the fact that EJ’s gonna be a fucking great dad. 

“Do you think you’ll get back together?” Alexander asks, because he can’t not. He’s at EJ’s place, watching him scroll through baby clothes on his phone and try not to look sad, which— like, mutual or not, he did just break up with his boyfriend, and is still very much in love with him. Alexander thinks it’s understandable that he’s sad. 

“Not applicable,” EJ says. “Also, not a helpful question.” 

“I just—” 

“No,” EJ says, firm. He’s looking a little less sad now, apparently having moved onto being defiant, for the time being. “We still care about each other, but it’s over. If this plan is gonna work, we need to actually end things. None of that bullshit where we call it off for a few months but keep holding out for each other, it’s just— over.” 

“Alright,” Alexander says, a little awkward. Usually, after a breakup, you’re supposed to tell your friends that they were too good for their ex, and that you’re happy it’s over, but in this case… well. That doesn’t really apply. Alexander could probably say that it’s for the best, but EJ already knows that. The right choice, in this case, happens to just… suck. 

“We don’t have to talk about it,” EJ says. “I’ve got other shit going on besides breaking up with Sammy. Like, I’m gonna have a kid, or whatever.” 

“Yeah, dude. Congrats,” Alexander says. 

EJ flashes him a very sincere, very toothless grin. “Thanks. I’m— really excited.” 

“That’s awesome,” Alexander says, and he knows there’s no reason that he, personally, should also be so excited, but he likes EJ, and he likes babies, too, so. It sort of makes sense. 

……

The team divides along natural lines to deal with the breakup. Sam and EJ can handle themselves fine, but there’s a certain amount of diplomacy that comes with any breakup, especially when the people breaking up have pretty much all the same friends, and everyone involved has to interact pretty much daily. 

Alexander’s sort of in a weird place, because he’s pretty close with Sam, but among the other young guys, he’s more or less taken on the unofficial role of delegate to EJ. He’s been there for both of them, of course, but because he’s the oldest among the younger guys (which isn’t a categorization based strictly on age— Z is younger than him, but having a wife and kid sort of puts him in the ‘old marrieds’ category) he’s had to be especially diplomatic. 

That, combined with the fact that Alexander finds all the baby stuff pretty fun to talk about, means that Alexander hangs out with EJ a lot.

He’s not trying to get involved in any of it, really. He’s just trying to be there for a friend, but a lot of that is looking into adoption and IVF and the boatload of incredibly complicated and expensive processes that are out there for people who want to have babies.

It would probably be easier if EJ was a carrier. Alexander had grown up hearing that he was lucky for it, but he’s never really felt it until now— the whole process of having a kid turns into a series of legal and medical hoops to jump through if you can’t just pop one out yourself.

Which gets Alexander thinking.

EJ probably has the idea pretty early on, but brushes it off immediately. That’s not the kind of thing you can ask for, really. Alexander gets that. 

But, at the same time, EJ really wants to be a dad, and Alexander just— he doesn’t like knowing that there’s something he could be doing to help. Plus, he’s always had this… this capability, and even if he’s not ready to have kids of his own, all the pregnancy blogs he’s been reading make it seem— worth it, sort of.

It’s just. He’s never really thought about how he  _ feels  _ about being a carrier, but now that he is, he’s starting to feel this sort of gratitude— like, he could, if he wanted to, bring a new life into the world. He could help someone make a family.

Alexander is, of course, the one to bring it up, and after a long talk with EJ, he promises to think it over for at least a few days before committing to anything. Alexander’s already been thinking it over for a few days, but again, he gets it. This is pretty serious shit.

Finally, after days of thinking and researching and making timelines and planning things out, Alexander and EJ come to an agreement. They’ll probably want to get a lawyer involved soon, just to make sure everything’s on-the-books official, but still.

“Hey,” Alexander says, “you’re gonna be a dad.”

And— yeah, he’s agreeing to something objectively painful and pretty fucking disruptive, but the ugly toothless grin on EJ’s face makes the whole thing seem pretty fucking worth it. 

……

Here’s the thing you should know about Alexander: he lives with his two best friends, and he loves them more than just about anything else.

Those two things—plus the fact that he lives with them—mean he has to tell JT and Josty before anyone else. 

He decides to rip the bandaid on it, figuring that it’s best to have all the information right there at the start. He almost makes a PowerPoint, but then he thinks about it for a second and realizes they’d probably start making fun of him for being a fucking nerd, and he’d have to break that up before he ever got a chance to break the news.

So he decides the best course of action is to sit them down and just— do it.

“Okay, so,” Alexander says, “you guys know how EJ wants to have a kid?”

Tyson nods slowly, and after a second, JT does too.

Alexander gulps. “Well, I’m gonna. Do that.”

“What?” JT asks, confused.

“Like,” Alexander says, “Do you guys know what surrogacy is?”

JT and Tyson stare at him for one, two, three seconds, and then—

“Holy shit,” JT says. 

Tyson nods frantically at that, like,  _ yeah, what he said.  _ “You’re gonna have a baby?” His eyes are comically wide, and JT looks a little pale. 

Alexander nods, a little nervous. “Yeah.” 

“Like, you’re gonna—” Tyson does a gesture over his stomach that Alexander could probably interpret from a mile away. “Be… big, and stuff?” 

“Pregnant,” JT says, eyes still firmly fixed on his feet. “That’s, uh. Probably the word you’re looking for.” 

“I knew what he meant,” Alexander says. “And… yeah. Just, y’know, if you guys want me to move out—”

“We don’t,” Tyson says quickly, at the same time JT says, “What? No.”

There’s a beat of awkward silence after that. 

Alexander clears his throat. “Alright, then,” he says. “Any other questions?”

JT and Tyson exchange a look, then look down at their own hands, then look away from each other, all in unison. Alexander is vaguely impressed.

Finally, Tyson huffs out a breath. “Okay, I’ve gotta ask, dude.” 

“Ask what?” 

JT, whose face is inventing new shades of red right now, rolls his eyes, looking a little pained. “Tys, don’t.” 

“I’ve gotta.” 

“You really don’t.” 

“Yes, I—”

“Please just ask it,” Alexander says, because it’s really frustrating living with two people who share one braincell. Not that Alexander’s not just as bad with each of them—or sometimes both of them—or, okay, usually both of them—but still.    

“Did you hook up with EJ, and is that why this is happening?” Tyson asks. 

Alexander nearly falls off his goddamn chair. 

“Wh— no, I didn’t— what?” 

“Like, you’ve been hanging out with him a lot lately, and—” 

“He’s going through a rough breakup, and trying to have a  _ baby _ . I’m just trying to be there for my friend, dude.”

“For the record, I told him not to ask,” JT says. 

“What? We were all thinking it,” Tyson says.

“Speak for yourself,” JT says. “I thought you were gonna ask if he’s  _ going  _ to do it with EJ.”

“Well, obviously he’s  _ going _ to do it with EJ, he’s gonna be his baby daddy—”

“Surrogate,” Alexander corrects. He tries to sound firm, because this is getting way off track, even by their standards. “I’m not going to do it with— I’m not going to  _ have sex  _ with EJ. It’s a medical procedure, that happens in a doctor’s office.”

“So it’s like… a medical grade turkey baster?” Tyson asks.

“Oh my  _ god,” _ JT groans.

“I mean, honestly?” Alexander says. “Yeah, pretty much.”

“Alright,” Tyson says, nodding. “I think I get it.” 

……

So… it happens. 

Alexander gets pregnant—weird—on an unassuming day between winter and spring, and he and EJ don’t make eye contact for a few days after. Even if it’s just a blunted syringe, Alexander knows what’s  _ in  _ the syringe, and that’s just a little uncomfortable for everyone involved. 

It works on the first try though, which is a pretty fucking big stroke of luck. 

They tell the team without much fanfare. It seems like the kind of thing that everyone would have some sort of opinion on, but maybe they figure that this is private. He wonders if they secretly disapprove, for a little bit, but honestly, he puts that thought out of his head fast enough. Regardless of how other people feel, it’s happening, and anyway, it’s really nobody else’s business. 

JT and Josty are… okay with it, Alexander thinks. 

He tries to pretend he doesn’t notice that Josty’s googling pregnancy every time Alexander looks over at his laptop screen, and doesn’t get weird about the fact that JT asks if he needs anything every two seconds. It’s not bad, really, just— a little strange. 

They’ll adjust eventually, Alexander guesses. He doesn’t think he’d be handling it any more gracefully if one of them came home and announced they’d decided to have a baby for a friend.

For the first few months, there’s only one real bump in the road. Or, there are a lot of bumps in the road—morning sickness hits him hard, and he’s sore in sensitive in all the places people told him he’d be—but those are expected. The only thing that Alexander hadn’t really thought about was how fucking weird it would be to be pregnant around the ex boyfriend of the guy whose baby he is currently carrying. 

He mostly dodges him, of course, but that makes him feel— well. Kind of like an asshole. Not that Sam’s trying to talk to him, but still. 

They finally talk about it when the team is out one night, and Sam and Alexander end up alone at a table. Sam’s drinking a beer, and Alexander is awkwardly sipping on water. 

_ Just talk about something else,  _ is what Alexander is thinking, except the words that come out of his mouth are, “So, uh— elephant in the room, right?” 

The way you can really tell that Alexander’s brain was not at all involved in the process of him saying that: he hates speaking in idioms, and he knows better than to use them with someone whose first language isn’t English. Occasionally, when Alexander is feeling incredibly uncomfortable, he says or does the exact wrong thing for the situation, and this is, apparently, one of those times. 

Sam, for his part, just smiles, looking a little sad.  “Yeah, I mean— y’know. It’s alright,” he says. “I knew this was happening.” 

“I know, but it’s still— weird. Right?”

“It’s fine,” Sam says. He hesitates for a second. “How… how is he?” 

“I mean— y’know,” Alexander says, which roughly translates to,  _ Still pretty heartbroken over you, but mostly excited for fatherhood, deep in denial but nothing out of the ordinary for him.  _ He figures that Sam knows EJ well enough to figure out what he means. 

“Yeah,” Sam says. “Well— thanks, man.” 

“What for?” 

“Doing this for him,” Sam says, nodding at Alexander’s stomach. “It’s really important to him.” 

“Oh,” Alexander says. “Well, uh— you’re welcome.” 

Sam gives him a small nod. “How do your roomies feel about this whole thing?” 

“They’re sort of freaked out? But excited, I think,” Alexander says. “They’re both really trying to be helpful.” 

Sam gives him a small smile. “Trying to be?”

“Yeah, I— A for effort, for sure,” Alexander says.

……

Here’s the thing: 

The way JT is weird about it is that he’s always just… there. He’s got this weird thing where he’s super awkward around people who need help, but also, always wants to offer help. Alexander’s pretty sure that it’s just the wanting to help that makes him uncomfortable. It’s like he doesn’t know how to check in with people, so he just waits to do one of the things he definitively knows people appreciate. In this case, he ends up getting Alexander water a lot, and picks up stuff for him whenever he goes shopping. He also throws Alexander’s laundry in with his own very frequently. 

It’s very unnecessary, and Alexander feels a little bad, but at the same time… there’s some convenience you can’t turn down, and JT always offers, so. 

But Josty is a little different from JT, in the sense that he’s… 

Alexander wouldn’t say that he’s  _ absent,  _ per se. He’s just more fidgety than usual whenever something pregnancy-related comes up, and will occasionally slip out of the room when he wouldn’t before. It used to be that whenever Alexander was on the phone, Tyson would try to distract him, but lately, if he’s on with the doctor, or even EJ, Tyson will turn on his heel and go. 

Alexander more or less assumes that it’s a privacy thing, but he also— 

He doesn’t really know. He’s pretty sure Tyson’s just sort of curious about everything, based on the way he keeps staring at Alexander’s stomach and blushing. Curious, and embarrassed to ask. 

That’s gotta be it, Alexander thinks. 

Even as things move along, the team makes the playoffs, and JT and Josty start to be a little more normal about everything, there’s a particular weirdness to Josty’s behavior that he can’t—won’t?—shake. Alexander isn’t offended by it, really. He’s pretty sure it’s sort of flattering, despite being absolutely baffling. 

In short, Alexander’s thoughts on the topic of how Josty’s handling his pregnancy can be summed up as:  _???  _

He gets an answer, eventually. It takes the end of the season and a lot of adrenaline going through Tyson’s system, but it does happen. 

“Okay, so,” Tyson says, as he’s pacing around the living room. “There’s this— thing.” 

JT is staying at the AirBNB he got his family, and the whole house has felt weird and empty without him. 

Alexander isn’t particularly surprised that Tyson is choosing to do this now. 

“Alright,” Alexander says.

“It’s about you,” Tyson says. 

Alexander nods, and then he waits.  

Tyson spends a full minute pacing back and forth, staring at his hands. 

Alexander is. Very nervous.

“Oh my god, this is so fucked up,” Tyson says, his face bright red. “It’s just— I had this— this dream, uh, a few nights ago, and ever since, I’ve—” He groans. “Oh my god, I can’t even say it.”

Alexander doesn’t think he’s ever seen Tyson show any shame, let alone this much. It doesn’t really fit with the image Alexander’s built in his head of his roommate. Tyson’s usually pretty open and rarely embarrassed about anything, but right now—

“It started with a dream I had a few weeks ago, right?” Tyson says, his eyes fixed on his feet. “And, like— whatever, dreams happen, except then I woke up, and I was thinking about— the thing, and then I couldn’t stop thinking about it, and then— and it’s been  _ weeks,  _ and I  _ still  _ can’t stop thinking about it—” 

“Dude, I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Alexander says. 

Tyson squeezes his eyes shut. “It’s just— you’re all…” He gestures vaguely in Alexander’s general direction. 

“Pregnant?” 

“ _ Hot,”  _ Tyson says. 

Suddenly, Alexander feels like he’s on fire. 

Huh.

“And— well, like, pregnant too, but also…” Tyson’s voice trails off, but it doesn’t matter—  Alexander is barely listening. He’s too busy thinking back on the last few weeks, realizing that all the times Tyson had rushed out of the room or blushed inexplicably, it was because he was thinking about— because he  _ wanted—  _

Alexander knows that pregnancy means hormones, so he could maybe chalk up his current reaction to that, but at the same time, he’s not…  _ not  _ into Tyson. Just— Tyson’s fun, and fun to look at, and Alexander’s never dwelled too much on that, because they’re roommates, but if it’s being brought up anyway— well. 

“Look, dude, I don’t want to make things weird—”

“I know, and I’m not asking you to—” 

“But,” Alexander continues, and Tyson stops talking. “If you want— I mean, if you’re saying that you wanna… like, uh. We could— y’know. Once.” 

There’s a beat, and then Tyson says: “Wait, what?” 

“I mean— look, it’s been a while, and we both don’t want things to be weird. It could be fun for both of us, right?” 

“I— you know I’m talking about sex, right?” Tyson says. 

Alexander gulps. “Yep.” 

“And you’re saying you want to have sex with me,” Tyson says. “And that’s what’s going on here.” 

“Correct.” 

“So— you don’t think I’m, like, disgusting for wanting to have sex with you?” 

Alexander furrows his brow a little. “Clearly not,” he says. If Tyson’s into the fact that he’s pregnant, Alexander’s not gonna judge. 

They make their way up to the bedroom pretty quickly, and the rest of it passes in a blur. They start kissing; Alexander goes from zero to so hard it hurts  _ fast;  _ Tyson takes Alexander’s clothes off, and then his own. 

Every part of Tyson looks… really, really good. 

“Can I—” Tyson gestures vaguely at Alexander’s stomach, and Alexander’s not sure what he’s talking about, but he nods anyway. He’s not showing that much yet, but there’s still a bump there; he knows that when he gets bigger, people will start to touch it more, but right now, the only people who have touched it besides him are EJ and the doctor. 

This is… a lot more intimate. 

Tyson kisses at his belly, rubbing gently down the sides, and Alexander can’t help but throw his head back and moan. This feeling is— really heady, and just, like, a lot, especially when he’s already hard and half-dressed and having sex for the first time in months. 

“Holy fuck, Tys,” Alexander says. 

“Oh my god,” Tyson says, against his stomach. “I’ve wanted to do that for so long.” 

Alexander can’t even say anything in response to that. He thinks he makes a noise, but he’s not sure— he’s too overwhelmed to separate sensations. 

Then, he starts to kiss a trail down Alexander’s stomach, and then— 

_ Fuck.  _

It’s almost embarrassing, how quickly Alexander decides that this is probably the best blowjob he’s ever had, but in his defense, it’s a really good blowjob. Tyson is as attentive as he is enthusiastic, and Alexander is already so  _ into  _ this. Every so often, Tyson looks up at him through his ridiculously long eyelashes, and Alexander feels like he’s going to explode every time he does. But Tyson keeps changing things up, doesn’t keep up a steady rhythm long enough to make Alexander come, and Alexander’s pretty sure that it’s on purpose. 

It’s a really, really good blowjob. 

Alexander feels like he’s been on the edge of an orgasm for forever when he finally comes, and he barely has time to choke out a warning when it happens, but Tyson doesn’t seem all that surprised. The way he swallows can only be described as expert, and Alexander feels a lot of things, but the most prominent one is just— whatever the opposite of regret is. Gratitude, he’s pretty sure. 

“This,” Alexander says, once he’s caught his breath, “Was a really good idea.” 

“Yeah,” Tyson says, but it’s mostly a gasp, because his hand is around his own dick now, jerking it furiously, and Alexander is about to offer to help, except then Tyson lets out a groan and comes, all over his own hand and Alexander’s stomach. 

Alexander’s breath hitches; Tyson’s straddling him in the most obscene way, and Alexander has the vague thought of,  _ we should do that again, right now, right this second.  _ He knows that it’s probably mostly just hormones, but that doesn’t make it any less overwhelming. 

“Uh,” Tyson says, looking at Alexander’s stomach. “That… wasn’t on purpose.” 

Alexander shrugs, and it takes some effort to not let his smile get embarrassingly big. “You’re good, man.” 

“Yeah?” Tyson asks, a little breathless. 

“Yeah.”

Alexander risks letting his grin get a little wider, which pays off when Tyson gives him a tired smile in return.  

……

Alexander sort of expects things to get weird after he and Josty do it, and— 

Well, okay, things do get weird. 

It’s just that things don’t get weird with Josty. 

Because the thing is, Alexander’s not exactly surprised that Tyson kinda wants him. It’s not that he thinks he’s supremely attractive, or anything; it’s just that Tyson likes people, and Tyson likes Alexander, and pregnancy can sort of awaken some feelings that you didn’t know were there before, even when you’re not the one who’s pregnant. That’s just kind of how people respond to change. 

It’s the very definition of a non-issue, figuring out how to act around Josty now that they’ve hooked up. Now that Alexander knows why Tyson’s been so jumpy around him, he feels more settled, and now that Tyson’s gotten over the guilt of wanting to bang him—and, like, the guilt of his apparent  _ thing  _ for baby bumps—he’s acting less jumpy. 

Conveniently, the question of whether it’s going to happen again doesn’t really come up. Tyson goes to Worlds, and Alexander doesn’t really find himself thinking about sex all that much anyway. He’s pregnant, so he’s pretty much accepted that his sex drive will go to random extremes without warning.

So all of that— it’s not weird. 

The weird part is JT. 

Alexander notices it when they’re in Vegas, but he attributes the first few days of moodiness to all the shitty feelings that come with being knocked out of the playoffs. 

But then it keeps going, and then it gets worse. 

Alexander ignores it, and he’d be happy to continue doing so, except then Alexander asks JT if he wants to watch the USA-Canada game with him—because Worlds is fun, and also because Tyson’s there, but Alexander doesn’t say that part out loud—and JT says: “Okay, fine, I know, okay?” 

“Uh.” Alexander blinks. “What?” 

JT’s face is a little red. “I know about you and Tyson— y’know.” 

“What?” Alexander repeats, maybe a little louder. Not, like,  _ loud,  _ just… loud _ er _ . In a normal, understandable, caught-off-guard way.

“You and Tyson,” JT repeats. “Right after the playoffs— I know you guys were going to keep it a secret, but— I know, so.”

“You know,” Alexander echoes. 

Okay, so, JT knows. 

What Alexander does  _ not _ do is panic, because that would be bad. If Alexander starts to panic, he won’t be able to do other things, like  _ think  _ and  _ react  _ and  _ deal,  _ and Alexander most certainly needs to be able to do all those things. Logically, there’s nothing to panic about here— Alexander didn’t do anything wrong, no matter what the strange, nagging sensation in the pit of his stomach is telling him. Not telling JT had been a logistical choice, not a moral one. 

So, Alexander doesn’t panic, even if he sort of wants to. 

He also doesn’t really think, react, or deal. He definitely doesn’t say anything. He mostly just… freezes, honestly. 

“Look,” JT says, still staring at his feet. “I’m not trying to turn this into a whole… thing, or whatever. I just don’t think it’s, like, fair. That’s all.” 

Alexander’s not sure if that actually makes no sense at all, or if his brain just can’t make sense of it. “What does ‘fair’ mean?” 

“Like— it’s not— I don’t—” JT huffs. “Maybe fair wasn’t a good word. It’s just… not something that I expected, and it’s— weird, I guess.” 

“I mean, it’s not like we’re a thing,” Alexander says. It probably comes out awkward. 

“No, I know, it’s just— y’know what? Never mind,” JT says, abrupt. “I’ll get over it.” 

Alexander blinks. “Oh.”

“Like, seriously,” JT says. “I’m not just saying— like. It’ just a thing, but I don’t want you to, y’know, worry, or anything.” 

This conversation really doesn’t need to feel like a fight, and yet— “Dude, I’m pregnant, not…” Alexander’s voice trails off, because he’s— annoyed, really. He’s tired of people walking on eggshells around him just because he’s carrying a baby, but he’s especially tired of JT doing it. 

It’s not that he didn’t expect things to change when he agreed to this whole thing—or when he slept with Tyson, for that matter—because, like, he  _ did,  _ but this— it doesn’t just feel strange anymore; this feels like JT’s rewriting the rules of their friendship in his head, and now Alexander doesn’t know what they are. 

“No,” JT says, and apparently, Alexander’s face is doing something that looks like what he’s feeling, because JT sounds equal parts uncomfortable and sympathetic, which is how JT tends to handle other people’s feelings. 

It’s comforting, at least. 

“I mean,” JT continues, “Obviously, like— sorry. I’m not trying to say that you shouldn’t— or should— or— it’s not about you. I just don’t know how else to… deal, okay?” 

“Okay,” Alexander says, because JT seems kinda panicked, and mostly, Alexander just wants him to be calm and okay again. He’d sort of also like to know what the hell is going on, but based on his reaction, he kind of gets the sense that JT doesn’t exactly understand what’s going on, either. 

Maybe it’s just… one of those things, Maybe he just feels weird, and needs some space to work through it, and maybe Alexander just needs to let that pan out. 

“Sorry,” JT says, still sounding lost. 

Alexander can’t help but feel bad for him. “Let’s just forget it ever came up, okay?” he says. “We can turn off the game if you want.” 

“No, leave it on,” JT says. He looks calmer, even though he’s still blushing, just a little. “I’m gonna cheer for the US, though.” 

That awakens a lifetime of  _ fuck USA, go Canada  _ instincts in Alexander, but he’s good at being the bigger person, when it means he gets to feel superior to Americans. 

“You’re entitled to your wrong opinions,” Alexander says, and it earns him a smile from JT, which feels— better. JT’s smile is nice, when he decides to show it off, which he mostly does around Alexander and Tyson. It’s probably because it’s sort of a dorky smile, and JT’s not too worried about seeming like a dork in front of them. They’re all sort of dorky, but they’re dorks together. 

Or, well. Tyson’s not here, and the whole thing is still pretty fucking fragile, but, like. Whatever. The point is that JT is smiling, and that makes Alexander feel like everything’s going to be fine, eventually.

……

The whole JT-and-Josty not-fight ends up kind of being a non-issue—if Alexander turns his head and squints—because when Tyson gets back to Denver, it’s like nothing’s changed. JT is grumpy and sullen, and Tyson’s a little awkward, but after a few days, things seem to reach a balance. Alexander doesn’t see them hanging out just the two of them as often, but when all three of them are in the same place, it’s all friendly. Sometimes these things happen, when you live with your friends— you need to take a beat to cool off, so you make the space you need and try and be an okay roommate in the meantime. 

And, okay. Things aren’t perfect— Alexander doesn’t really know how JT knows, and he doesn’t really know how Tyson feels about JT knowing, and he doesn’t really know how much of the tentative peace in the house is pretend or not, but they still laugh at each other’s jokes and they’re not fighting and the dishes get done about as much as they usually do. Alexander stops blushing every time he and Tyson are in the same room after a day; he stops feeling guilty every time he sees JT and Tyson in the same place after about a week.  

It’s not ideal, but Alexander gets it. It’s not really his business, anyway, because neither of them is mad at him. He’s pretty sure they’re not mad at each other, either. They’re just processing, and that takes time. 

That may or may not be true, but Alexander more or less resolves to not stress about it, because, honestly, he’s got bigger things to worry about— namely, the person growing inside of him, who’s getting bigger and more restless every day. By the time the next OB/GYN visit rolls around, Alexander absolutely cannot wait to see EJ. He could really use a reminder that all the kicking going on in his stomach is doing some good for someone— it’s certainly not Alexander’s favorite thing in the world, but it feels better to know that he’s making someone else really fucking happy. 

EJ better love the fuck out of this kid. He probably will, but still— he better. 

Alexander’s about to text EJ this exact sentiment and also gently remind him that they should probably get going so they don’t miss their doctor’s appointment, but thankfully, EJ pulls up in front of the house before he does. He’s about 20 minutes late, but Alexander tells people to be places 15 minutes early—a byproduct of living with Tyson Jost, the world’s least punctual person—so they should be fine. 

Still, it’s sort of weird that EJ’s late, and Alexander’s about to ask about it when he sees that there’s another person in the front seat of EJ’s car. 

As he gets closer, he realizes that the other person is Sam. 

“Sorry,” EJ says, apologetic and maybe a bit nervous. 

Alexander looks at Sam, who’s bright red and looks vaguely guilty. He decides not to comment. “No worries,” he says. “Sup, G?”

“Not much,” Sam says. “If you, uh, don’t want me tagging along—” 

“It’s fine,” Alexander says, climbing in the back. He has a passing thought about car seats. There are a lot of small things you forget about kids when you haven’t been around them in a while. “I mean, if you wanna chill in the waiting room, that’s your prerogative.” 

“Right,” Sam says. “Thanks.” 

He and EJ exchange a look, and Alexander has many, many questions. 

He doesn’t get any answers until he and EJ are alone in the OB/GYN’s office, waiting for their appointment to get started. It’s a pretty standard thing, so Alexander figures that EJ’s current fidgetiness has very little to do with the doctor, and everything to do with Sam.

Alexander elbows EJ. “So.” 

“What?” EJ says, not meeting Alexander’s eye.

Alexander raises his eyebrows. “G’s here.”

“Oh, really? I hadn’t noticed.” 

Alexander waits. 

EJ sighs. “I don’t know, I thought it was going well, but— for the last couple of weeks, it’s just been… harder.” 

“What’s been harder?” 

“Staying apart,” EJ says. “Like, it’s always been hard, but it really felt like it was the right choice for us, y’know?” 

“Well, maybe it was, but then it changed,” Alexander says. 

“Maybe,” EJ says. “Or maybe we’re just bad at getting over each other.” 

“It’s probably a mix of both,” Alexander says. “Doesn’t mean it’s not worth giving it another go, though.” 

“I’m pretty sure I didn’t ask,” EJ snaps. 

Alexander probably deserved that. “Sorry.” 

“Sorry.” EJ sighs. “I just— I know I want— but I don’t know if it’s the best idea.” 

“That’s fair,” Alexander says. “The thing that makes you happy is probably the best idea, though.” 

“I mean, I guess,” EJ says. “But I want what’s best for the baby.” 

“I don’t think she has many strong opinions about anything yet,” Alexander says, looking down at his stomach like he’s checking in with the almost-human he’s currently carrying around. He usually thinks of the baby as an  _ it,  _ because it’s super weird to think that thing inside him is going to have things like a personality and a name and interests and hobbies, but it’s EJ’s kid, so he feels like he should acknowledge that this whole thing is about a real, actual person that EJ loves unconditionally. 

“She definitely has strong opinions,” EJ says, smiling all wide and toothless. Alexander makes a mental note to smile at her when she’s born, just so she’s not too caught off-guard when she finds out most adults don’t have a huge gap in the middle of their grin. “You think my daughter won’t have opinions on everything?” 

“You’re not opinionated, you’re just… disagreeable.” 

“You’re an  _ asshole _ ,” EJ says, and he’s still grinning, but his face shifts a little. “G used to say the same thing, actually.” 

“Oh,” Alexander says, awkward. 

EJ blinks a few times. “Sorry,” he says. “I think I’m— I should figure my shit out.” 

“Probably,” Alexander says. “For what it’s worth, I think you’ll be fine no matter what.” 

“Weird, I think I  _ won’t  _ be fine no matter what,” EJ says. “Thanks, though.” 

“No problem,” Alexander says. “Good luck, yeah?” 

“Yeah,” EJ says. “You too.” 

It’s probably just an automatic thing that EJ says, but then Alexander thinks about how he slept with one roommate and the other found out and he doesn’t quite feel like he’s in the clear from the fallout yet, so come to think of it, so, well— maybe he could use some good luck.

In any event, EJ seems to relax, and then the doctor comes in, and Alexander forgets about G altogether until he walks into the waiting room and sees Sam’s face light up. 

Alexander is probably right about the two of them being okay. 

……

Alexander probably should’ve seen this coming when he decided to accept that things would work themselves out on their own, because he should know better than that. Things  _ never  _ work themselves out on their own. 

It starts when he gets woken up from his nap by some loud voices coming from the living room, which is strange; he thinks it might be a movie, but when he focuses hard and tries to listen, there’s no other sound effects, no backing track or familiar fast-paced dialogue. When he focuses even harder, he realizes that the voices definitely belong to Tyson and JT. 

His door is open a little bit already. He gets out of bed and nudges it open a little more, feeling incredibly guilty and even more curious. 

“I’m just saying, you can’t call  _ dibs  _ on—” Tyson’s saying. 

JT cuts him off. “It’s not dibs, it’s just— I can’t believe you’d do that when you knew that I—”

“It wasn’t like I was trying to steal him. It was supposed to be a one time thing.” 

“Supposed to be?” 

“I mean— it  _ was.” _

JT scoffs. 

“Stop,” Tyson says. 

Alexander is halfway down the stairs now, tiptoeing on instinct. He feels like he’s a little too big to be sneaky, but apparently he’s managing well enough. 

“Why should I? It was just a  _ one time thing—”  _

“Do you really think I would’ve done anything if it wasn’t, like… important to me?” 

“I don’t think fucking someone is ever that ‘important’, especially when you know that it’s someone your best friend is really, really into, but okay, sure.” 

“Oh my fucking— do you not  _ get it? _ ”

“Guys?” Alexander says, before he realizes what he’s doing.

They both freeze. 

“Guys,” Alexander says again, making his way down the stairs. “What the fuck.” 

“I—” Tyson gulps. “I thought you weren’t home.” 

“Same here,” JT says. 

Alexander repeats, “What the fuck.” 

“How much of that did you hear?” JT asks. 

Alexander just stares at the both of them. “What the fuck is going on?”

JT and Tyson exchange a look, and Alexander thinks about how fucking wild it is that even in the middle of an argument, the two of them can end up on the same side so quickly, how they can still read each other this well and this easily, even if they’ve been fucking up communication for so, so many weeks.

It’s a very Alexander thing to not realize he’s in the middle of a big fucking deal situation until it’s already happening, but this has definitely been building. Alexander’s just really good at blocking things out, is all. 

Right now, he’s scrambling to piece together a reaction. 

That might be the reason for the next thing he does.

Like, okay, maybe Alexander is just— pregnant. Like, maybe he’s having weird hormonal thoughts because that’s what happens when you’re pregnant and watching your two roommates more or less fight over you. 

(Because that had been about  _ him,  _ but that’s just too much to think about, on top of everything else.)

Anyway. You think about how much they like each other, and how much you like both of them, and how you’re really tired of this argument and can’t really follow it anyway, and you figure that the obvious solution is to kiss one of them. 

Alexander’s not sure whether or not this experience is universal or not, but regardless, he kisses JT. He  _ really  _ kisses JT. He kisses JT hard, because JT is really fired up, and Alexander wants him to stop talking and stop being so stressed out and just remember that they all fucking like each other, so there’s no point in being mad when they’re all gonna forgive each other eventually, anyway. 

That train of thought is… maybe the opposite of logical, but Alexander never claimed to be smart. Tyson’s the one who’s good at handling people, and JT is the one who’s good at smoothing over situations by ignoring them, and Alexander is the one who’s got a knack for recognizing bad ideas. Kissing JT right now is a bad idea, but the thing is, Alexander isn’t listening to his head right now. 

He doesn’t know what he  _ is  _ following, but JT’s kissing him back, so there’s— that, at least. 

It’s not a long kiss. It’s fierce, and a little wet, but it’s mostly just furious and insistent. Alexander pulls back, and he doesn’t even process that he just did that, because then he’s kissing Tyson. It’s a shorter kiss, a little less insistent and more familiar, but it’s still intense, still impossible for Alexander to wrap his head around. 

He takes a step back, sort of shakey, and wonders what the fuck he just did. 

Tyson and JT are staring at him, wide-eyed and confused, and Alexander can’t decide which one he should be looking at, so he focuses on his own hands. 

“I—” 

_ What the fuck what the fuck what the fuck, _

“—Sorry, I just— I didn’t know what else to—” 

That’s not right. 

“I— I wanted to—” 

He gulps, not sure how to finish that thought, and JT and Tyson aren’t saying anything either. 

This is, far and away, the most awkward silence Alexander’s ever been a part of. This is a moment he’s going to revisit in his nightmares. This will probably have a permanent place on the mantle of horrifying experiences Alexander’s lived through, right up there with all the terrifying and embarrassing and just plain awful experiences that have made him feel like the ground was falling out from under him. 

“I’m… so confused,” Tyson says, his voice cracking a little. “I’ve been. So confused, and now I’m just more confused, and—” 

“Fuck, I didn’t mean to—” 

“No,” Tyson says, cutting Alexander off. He sits down on the couch, and Alexander and JT both follow suit, in a strange unison that can only come from being far too used to existing in the same physical space. “It’s not your fault.” He turns to JT. “I really don’t want you to hate me, dude.” 

JT looks uncomfortable, probably because Tyson may or may not be about to cry. “I mean— I’m allowed to be mad, dude.” 

“But you didn’t  _ say  _ anything,” Tyson says. 

“I mean—” JT glances at Alexander, hesitates for a second, then continues, “It’s sort of, uh, complicated, when two people you… well.” He gulps. “People you live with, and have, uh. Feelings for.”

Tyson’s face shifts. “What?”

“Yeah,” JT says, staring at the ground, but roughly in Alexander’s direction. “I’m really bad with feelings? And then there were a lot of them? And then it was all just—” He does a vague hand gesture. “Jealousy.” 

Alexander is starting to lose track of who likes who at this point; he also hasn’t thought about how he feels about all of it yet, but the fact that JT’s confession makes him feel warm inside is probably a good clue. 

“Fuck,” Tyson says. “That’s a fucking game changer, dude.” 

Alexander might not think he’s all that smart, but he’s definitely the most practical one of the three of them, and he’s also got a pretty consistent approach to life: find what makes you happy, and then do that thing. JT and Tyson have always made him happy, and that’s never been a question, so. 

“Should we, like… talk about this?” Alexander asks, feeling a little braver than he maybe should. He might also just be exhausted, or maybe hormonal. To be honest, he doesn’t care about the reason nearly as much as he does the outcome. 

“Probably,” Tyson says, at the same time JT says, “Talk about what?” 

“Like,” Alexander gestures between all three of them. “This.” 

“You mean… all three?” Tyson asks. 

“Wait, just because I…” JT looks nervous. 

Alexander shakes his head. “It’s… not just you,” he says. He doesn’t know how he’s so  _ sure  _ about this—he’s barely thought about this as a possibility, in any conscious level—but it doesn’t feel new. 

It just feels. Right.

……

The rest of the conversation involves a lot of shrugging and half-confessions, and there are so many ups and downs that they all start to run together in Alexander’s head. It’s scary and exciting and confusing, and it goes on for a long time, and by the end of it, Alexander’s got his legs sprawled across JT’s lap with his feet resting on Tyson’s thigh, Tyson’s got his head on JT’s shoulder with a hand on Alexander’s ankle, and JT’s got one hand in Tyson’s hair and the other tangled up in Alexander’s fingers. 

It’s a difficult conversation, but it’s very, very worth it. 

……

They don’t just go right into it—all three of them dating each other—but they go right into preparing for it, and devote themselves to the cause fully. 

There are a lot of books on how to date more than one person, it turns out. Colin has a bunch of them, and he’s very generous about lending them out. He also offers to answer any questions they might have with so much excitement that Alexander can only assume that he kind of saw this one coming. It’s nice to have his support, regardless. 

Alexander doesn’t really think they’re really going to read the books. Skim, maybe, but not actually  _ read.  _ Alexander’s got other things to worry about, and pregnancy brain is a very real thing. 

JT reads every single one, and tells Alexander which parts are the most important ones; Tyson reads most of them, and he takes notes. Color-coded, highlighted notes. At one point, Alexander walks in on him in the kitchen, poring over one of the books with a furrow in his brow and pens behind his ear, in his hand, and in his mouth. Alexander hasn’t seen anything like it since finals week at Harvard. It’s a little alarming. 

Then, JT wordlessly puts a cup of coffee next to him, and Tyson looks up, grins at him, notices Alexander, and grins even wider. 

Alexander—who is pregnant, and also just emotional, and quite possibly in love—may or may not shed a very happy tear.  

……

Birth is probably a lot more tolerable when you don’t have to worry about the child afterwards, and when you have two boyfriends to keep you company and give you regular updates on the child’s father’s relationship drama. 

“Good news,” Tyson says, about an hour before things really kick into high gear, “We found your baby daddies making out in the hallway.” 

A passing nurse does a double take. Alexander decides it’s not worth it to correct Tyson’s phrasing. 

“Finally,” he says. “I had a bet going with the OB/GYN.” 

“Who won?” JT asks.

“Who do you think?” Alexander says, grinning.

Tyson pumps his fist in the air, and then high fives Kerf. “That’s my boy.” 

“Excuse you, that’s  _ our  _ boy,” JT says, not bothering to hide his smile. 

……

Things Alexander learns from childbirth: giving birth to a child is very difficult and exhausting and hard to describe, but probably an altogether worthwhile experience if you’re into it. 

Also, newborn babies are really fucking small. 

“Jesus christ, that thing was tiny,” Tyson says as they make their way out of the hospital. 

“You’ve mentioned,” JT says. 

“She felt a lot bigger before I— y’know. Saw her,” Alexander says. She’d had the tiniest fucking toes he’d ever seen. It was pretty sick. 

“Man,” Tyson says. He’s got a lot of energy at the moment, which isn’t something Alexander can wrap his head around right now, but he doesn’t mind. “You made a person.” 

“Yep, and now I’m going to sleep it off to celebrate.”

“Yeah you are,” JT says, patting him on the back, then sliding his hand gently down and letting it rest there. “When you wake up, you can have caffeine for the first time in nine months. Just a big cup of fuckin— green tea, or whatever. That’s the one with caffeine, right?” 

“Yep,” Alexander confirms.

“Alright, so,” Tyson— who clearly hasn’t been paying attention to the conversation—says, turning around to walk backwards like he’s a tour guide or something. “Next time, I call dibs.”

“What?” JT says.

“When the three of us have a baby,” Tyson clarifies. “I call dibs on being the one to carry it.”

Before Alexander can interject, JT says, “Dude, Kerfy’s already proven that he can—”

“Exactly, he’s already had his shot, and now I want a go.”

Alexander bites back a laugh. “Honestly? Go for it, man. I don’t know if I’d want to do that again.” 

“You wouldn’t?” Tyson asks, curious. 

Alexander shrugs. “I mean, that’s— it’s not that I hated it, or anything. It’s just a lot of work, y’know?” 

“I’ve heard that raising the kid is the harder part,” JT says dryly. 

Tyson just smiles, cheerful as ever. “And you don’t have to deal with it this time around.” 

“Yeah, that’s a perk for sure,” Alexander says. Truthfully, he’s feeling sort of weird about it— it’s not his baby, obviously, but he’s still sort of attached to it. It would be one thing if he’d done this for a total stranger, but the whole reason he carried a baby in the first place is because he wanted to help someone he cares about start a family. He’s glad EJ insisted on making him the godfather. It’s nice to think that he’s gonna have a place in the baby’s life. 

“So when we have a baby, I’ll carry it, but then I can pass the fuck out while you guys learn how to change diapers. That’s how this works, right?” 

“How long do you plan to sleep for?” JT asks. 

Tyson shrugs, then turns to Alexander. “I dunno, a week? Two weeks?” 

“Why are you asking me?” 

“Because you just did this, duh,” Tyson says. 

“Okay, but I don’t think we can compare this to our future kid,” JT says. “Also, you’re not gonna get out of learning how to change a diaper just because you made the thing, man.” 

“I’m pretty sure most people learn that one before they’re in the hospital, anyway,” Alexander says. “Also, when are we having this kid? Because that might be tricky.” 

“We should try and time it so we can put it in the Cup,” Tyson says. 

“Oh, yeah, that’ll be sick,” JT says. 

“Right!” Tyson says. “It’s always so funny to see their little faces and stuff just, like, floating around—” 

“Floating?” JT asks. 

“Okay, not floating, obviously. Just, like, chillin’, y’know?” Tyson says. “Unless we decide to baptize it in the Cup. Do you think that’s allowed?”

“I have no clue,” Alexander says. “I don’t even know who we’d ask about that.” 

JT shrugs. “A priest, I guess.” 

“Shot not,” Tyson says immediately.

“I really don’t think dibs last that long,” Alexander says. 

“Then the same would go for his pregnancy dibs, right? Unless the dibs expire in the 9 months?” JT furrows his brow. “Or— actually, I’m confused about the timeline of this whole thing.” 

“This conversation is ridiculous,” Tyson says, pleased. “I can’t believe it only took me a few months to turn you two ridiculous.” 

“I can’t believe it only took you two months to bring up what will happen when we have kids,” JT says. 

“That, I can believe,” Alexander says. “Also, it’s not that ridiculous a conversation. And we’re already a little ridiculous anyway.” 

“That’s true,” Tyson says, and then, because he’s Tyson, he leans forward and kisses Alexander’s cheek. “I love being ridiculous with you.”

“Dork,” JT says, and Tyson turns and gives him a kiss too. 

**Author's Note:**

> cw for age difference wrt the sammy/ej subplot.
> 
> i handwaved a loooooot of details, but he gets pregnant roughly a few months before the end of the season, and then gives birth so he doesn't have to miss the start of the next season. just roll with it/pretend the avs had a shorter postseason. my research said that if you play hockey for fun with friends and get pregnant, you can keep playing through the end of the first trimester. i couldn't find much literature on whether this would be the case for professional hockey players, but again, roll with it. 
> 
> i wanted to write an mpreg story that had getting together themes, but i also wanted a character to make the choice to get pregnant. the surrogacy concept sort of evolved naturally from that. irl, this isn't at all how surrogacy works probably, but all of the information online is about gestational surrogacy, so i had to do some guesswork/assume they weren't going exactly "by the book" on this. 
> 
> alexis r. johnson is a very happy baby with TINY toes and ENORMOUS cheeks and she LOVES ej's face and is the peekaboo world champion. a few years down the line, sam adopts her officially. i like to think that, between the three roommates, jt is her favorite, because he never smiles and has bright red hair. josty is offended by this, and alexander thinks it is hilarious.
> 
> (ej maintains that alexis is not named after alexander. no one believes this, besides alexander)


End file.
